Just over 90% recovered and still going…

Psychosis… What a hell of a state of mind – literally. If you’ve never experienced psychosis or are not aware of it, I encourage you to take a few minutes to continue reading.

“The word psychosis is used to describe conditions that affect the mind, where there has been some loss of contact with reality. When someone becomes ill in this way, it is called a psychotic episode. During a period of psychosis, a person’s thoughts and perceptions are disturbed and the individual may have difficulty understanding what is real and what is not.  Symptoms of psychosis include delusions (false beliefs) and hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that others do not see or hear). Other symptoms include incoherent or nonsense speech, and behavior that is inappropriate for the situation. A person in a psychotic episode may also experience depression, anxiety, sleep problems, social withdrawal, lack of motivation and difficulty functioning overall.” 1

When I do the math as of the date of this post, I sometimes wonder how the hell I am still here – despite the psychological roller coaster I’ve been on for the last 33 years, 3 months and several days of this human condition. An important lesson I’ve learned is to PAUSE… This mental reminder has no association with any existing idea or movement – it is my own way of reconnecting myself with cognitive awareness: also known as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) 23

It can take a considerable amount of time and energy each time you have to reboot your mind and reconsider everything you can remember (and challenging each memory) to begin to regain your sanity; then again what exactly is sanity? However, sadly there are too many people that never reconnect and the laws of entropy kick-in.

Well, sanity is a funny thing – losing it doesn’t mean you’re crazy, rather, it means your ability to tap into reasonable and rational behaviours is corrupted (similar in a sense to the corruption of a computer hard-drive); and much like a computer, with the right tools and knowledge you can recover your reasonable and rational behaviour by rebooting your mind through cognitive and/or dialectical behaviour therapy. 4

Whichever path towards recovery you take, if you find yourself struggling at the beginning of your day, remember this:

5

Skip to 40m40s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mdopKvBqNA&feature=youtu.be&t=40m40s

For the next couple of posts I’m going to keep them short – brevity isn’t something that is easy to accomplish when you tend to analyze topics from what seems like infinite perspectives; is that the grandiosity shining through or genuine ability? Again, for another post, on another day!

As always ✌️👍🤘♥️

 

1.
What is Psychosis? The National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/schizophrenia/raise/what-is-psychosis.shtml. Accessed August 10, 2018.
2.
The Origins of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-origins-of-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/. Published May 17, 2016. Accessed August 10, 2018.
3.
History of Cognitive Behavior Therapy – CBT | Beck Institute. Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy. https://beckinstitute.org/about-beck/our-history/history-of-cognitive-therapy/. Accessed August 10, 2018.
4.
What’s the Difference Between CBT and DBT? Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/whats-the-difference-between-cbt-and-dbt/. Published May 17, 2016. Accessed August 10, 2018.
5.
McKeon DP. Bipolar Disorder: Preventing Relapse – Dr Patrick McKeon. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mdopKvBqNA&feature=youtu.be&t=40m40s. Published November 29, 2016. Accessed August 10, 2018.

Back, up and analyzing soon

When I started this site back in June of this year (2017), it was after a couple of years after reaching the new apex of my life – from there it’s been an interesting journey (introspectively) reliving every traumatic experience I thought I could remember.

But first, a few understandings before we continue:

Feeling bad or pity does no one any good – although the thought can be pleasant it often adds on later to the guilt and shame people feel.

The best thing you can do for someone is show them you understand or are trying to understand – it’s confusing for everyone sometimes on how to help another person and even more confusing for the person trying to understand why others don’t always understand.

If you’re not able to be a support for someone, you can still help them by finding someone who can help.

Being fallible is part of what makes us human, sure it would be nice to have all those fancy things – if you’re willing to work for them, that is your choice; if you want to find peace you can feel it no matter where you are.

You will love another day to fail again – when you’re no longer failing are you still living?

Human Condition: To be continued…

What was that… Whoa what’s going on… What’s that feeling? It’s awful, it’s not going away, yeah I know the worst possible thing that could happen – you’re thinking to far ahead. 

What’s your problem? Do you get enjoyment out of tormenting other people?

They’re out to get me, I see them them look at me when they walk down the hall – they’re plotting something to ruin my life. Again, you’re thinking not only too far ahead but completely irrational and possibly delusional.

Delusional? I feel it, it’s instinct… Not quite, but similiar in response.

What is it?  To be honest… Not entirely certain, but we’ve got a head start figuring it out – so far we’ve made gains on all aspects of the psyche, but there remains an uninterrupted layer.

You see, once you’ve calmed down a bit, you start thinking clearer … Well for a moment and we’re back to feeling hyper-vigilant – at least you recognize it now. Remember when you didn’t? Don’t want to remember, but we’ve come along way.

Why do we keep falling back? Triggers, normal life events that seem overwhelming, insurmountable, and bring back the flood of memories of all those times… We’re past those. 

Are you? 

Good question. 

Take a break for now…

And we’re back… What’s changed? Starting to gain back control, but first we have to get back on track – mentally and physically.

We’ve reached a block… We’ll pick up shortly

Human Condition: Experiences from Too Analytical.

As I write, I am in a state of mixed depression with thoughts of hopeless and demise – I’ve been here before and it isn’t pleasant; life is suffering, but we must find ways to reduce the suffering that makes life worth experiencing. Our mind is powerful, often underestimated by those whom have never experienced its dark side.

The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it. – Marcus Aurelius

I’ve spent a considerable amount of time attempting to understand life, the human condition, and who I am… It has been a fruitful journey, I have discovered and have been able to make great strides towards living the good life.

Up and down, just like the peaks and valleys of a roller coaster track – except the mental track when it derails causes pain that is not relatable to the physical pain of a sustained injury.

Physical wounds heal with little thought, as long as you care for the wound while it heals – mental pain doesn’t seem to heal in the same way, no matter how much you attend to your mental wound it never seems to fully heal.

No matter how much I invest in my mental health, I always find myself taking backwards steps and falling back into the all too familiar traps of the mind. I have worked to become the person I am, to be confident, secure and happy in my outlook towards life – but when I am unconfident, unhappy and insecure in the moment I know I have regressed back to an old familiar state; where and when did I feel this way?

I’m still trying to pinpoint where in my life I started to experience negative thoughts and moods. From my primary years I know I had a few traumatic moments, what I didn’t know is how they would afflict me later in life. If I don’t to accept those moments as they were, and if I am not learning from those moments who knows how they may manifest themselves later in my life…

That’s all I can write at the moment… pretty succinct overview of my current 32 years of life

To be continued…

A Journey: Tolerance < Acceptance < Understanding... or is…

Alright, let’s first get the definitions of these terms out of the way, and establish the context in which I am referring: Human Interaction, Behaviour … the individual, social effects… anything relating to humans and the environments in which they interact with one another.

Tolerance (noun)

the ability or willingness to tolerate something; in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

Acceptance (noun)

the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered; the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

Understanding (noun)

the ability to understand something; comprehension; sympathetically aware of other people’s feelings; tolerant and forgiving.

Where this journey begins is challenging to determine – at what point does one become conscious of one’s own thoughts?

I don’t mean that inner voice or day-to-day thinking; I mean when you stop to introspect upon your thoughts and where and why they form; the stimulus in your experiences of life. I know sounds hokey pokey psychoanalytic jibber-jabber nonsensical philosophical epistemological … who cares, right?

If you don’t care, how do you decide what is relevant without introspection? is consideration just as equal? and how much consideration or introspection is sufficient?

I’d say to the point where it doesn’t cause pain or suffering, but if it does cause pain or suffering to introspect, then I’d suggest that you consider seeking professional help – as it may be a sign of unhealthy thoughts and feelings. And if you still disagree, then feel free to assert your position or let it be…

Why I intellectually obsess over various aspects of life is because of a natural curiosity that exists within me, a need to make sense of the world – we all possess this need to understand our external world, and I wonder how many other people seek to understand connections of the external world to their internal perception.

Whether you want to know, accept, or acknowledge that there is a commonality among all humans is up-to-you; you can reject others thoughts, but if you’ve not taken the time to consider them in the context of their perspective, does that make you close-minded?

What is conducive to living life varies from person to person, but the basic sustenance we all require remains the same on a biological level; how we meet our psychological needs is another matter of discussion for another day.

Ultimately, what matters most is empirical evidence, as in if you believe someone hates you, and you ask them if they do, and they tell you “no of course not – why would you think that?” – is that empirical enough or would you doubt the sincerity or genuineness of the other person saying it?

More so, does it really matter what others think of you? Not really, but I often wonder why it seems contempt is often irreconcilable – if we could understand the various perspectives, motivations and influences of individual people and see how social interactions play out (intensify or deescalate).

Having tolerance to accept and understand is part my journey to make sense of this world – my perspective changes as I discover newer perspectives and test the sanity of my internal world against the insanity of the external world.

Why the current year is irrelevant, when history is.

The day when those “age old sayings” made sense is the day my perspective of the world changed forever.

“Those Who Do Not Learn History Are Doomed To Repeat It.”

George Santayana’s words have never been more true than in our current era. Over the last few weeks I have intellectually obsessed with every written article, video, live feed… I could find – I’ve left no perspective unturned, yet I still crave more.
What I’ve learned since the last American election is that when the Status quo left unchallenged for too long, it becomes entrenched and entitled – if it ain’t, broke don’t fix it. However, it is clear to see that there exists issues within our society.
Never would I have thought I’d witness what is going on in the world today – that was my naïve state. I can remember the psychological impact of each new discovery, my understanding of the world became more succinct and nuanced.
At no point in life will I my knowledge be satisfactory, consciousness is infinite and to limit your knowledge to your own level of self-satisfaction seems like a barrier to challenging the malleability of the human mind.

“Ignorance is bliss

Ignorance is also deadly. When people are ignorant of history and subjectiveness overrules objectiveness to understand the world, every aspect of western civilization is taken for granted – This is clear by the use of direct action to effect change.
I’m not knocking direct action or political action, but when rhetoric overpowers logic and reason it puts in motion, a psychological phenomenon that deludes the believer in thinking their motive and intent is righteous – the same righteousness that fuels the innate evil that exists in every human.
What concerns me most is the lack of thinking on a timeline – the future, not tomorrow or a week from now, decades and centuries from now – the events that unfold today and those that become set in law.
We live, have and always will live in a battle of ideas. The manner in which discourse occurs must never be limited to any one idea, but all ideas which arise in the minds of the people brave enough to engage in civil discourse defend their ideas – imposing ideas on people is not public discourse.

Introductions are in order…

Hello Interwebs, World, Humanity…

As the title of this site suggests, I am indeed

too analytical.

Spending countless hours researching thinking, analyzing, arguing with myself to find insight, wisdom and answers to better understand whatever you want to call life, reality, perception, humanity…

In future posts I will share my thoughts on what is on my mind, new or updated revelations, epiphanies, realizations, insight, inspiration… and spontaneous creative moments.

Also, I’d like to invite anyone interested in sharing, contributing, etc.. to this site.

Where does inquisitiveness come from? I haven’t figured that out nor thought much on it – perhaps we’ll look at this in another post or topic for discussion; everything is open for discussion.

Be observational, seek answers,

correct inaccuracies and

be humble when you know you’re right.

Analytical beings take many forms, but we all have in common one thing. Being right, it’s not an attempt to one-up someone, it’s about preservation and accuracy of knowledge – I appreciate being corrected or challenged. Although, I know there are egos that derive satisfaction from being right. 

Are you unconventional? Do you feel misunderstood by millions of people that imitate behaviour without knowing? The influence of the mainstream on people works, it’s that simple – how and why it works is also for another post.

Who I am is not relevant as even I do not know who I am as I am always exploring new avenues of thought and ways of perceiving reality – and for now we won’t get into reality as it tends to segway into existentialism before ending in nihilism.

Plasticity of the mind has served me well, never being too sure about anything we think we know keeps the ego in check and brings about a natural humility that would save the butthurt snowflakes from much of the emotional turmoil they endure – insight from a former butthurt snowflake.

Humility, you either have it or you don’t. The good thing is that you can learn to have humility – if that is something you’re interested in stay tuned! 

Speak your mind but don’t be ignorant in the sense that negativity directed towards another living entity is not acceptable in any form. When you face negativity, don’t get caught up in the drama, analyze the behaviour and identify the factors that could affect the situation.

Here in lies the point where I bid you ado until the next post… Thanks for reading